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Why is it so hard for mums to accept & reach out for help?

  • Writer: Darrielle Maree
    Darrielle Maree
  • May 12, 2018
  • 3 min read


Ever since the day my eldest child was born, I subconsciously became the queen of ‘independent mothering’. I didn’t actively choose to take on this role in such a way, but it just seemed to happen by default.

God forbid if a friend or family member was kind enough to gift me a homemade dinner for my family to share, I would feel instantly indebted & guilty… Like I needed to immediately repay the favour somehow to be able to feel balanced again.


In the early days of having a newborn, people would offer their support by saying “if you ever need anything, please let me know”. In my mind, this type of offering was much appreciated, yet something internally forbid me from ever reaching out and answering with the real truth which was ‘yes please I really am in need of some help right now’.

When my daughter was diagnosed with having special needs 5 years ago, this inbuilt need of mine to stay ‘doing it alone’ was amplified. I became extremely protective of my family and hell-bent on ‘getting it right’ on my own as a mother. During this time, I found myself feeling completely burnt-out, depressed & isolated. I had completely blocked any form of external support entering or being offered into my life. I didn’t realise I had done this at the time, but I have since shed some light and clarity on this topic and I feel I now understand why I shied away from other people’s help for so long.

After hitting breaking point a year and a half ago, I realised that the only person who was going to be able to shift my suffering was myself. I started to change many things in my life but the most powerful thing that I did was start to care for me. As soon as I invested quality, nurturing time for myself, my whole world started to shift in a positive way.

This nurturing could not have happened if I had not created some space for myself to be able to rest and regroup. Initially, I had to ‘bite the bullet’ and ask for help. It felt weird because I had not done this very often in the past.


I first had to realise that I deserved a break, and as soon as I honoured myself for everything that I do for everyone else, it seemed easier to reach out. I also realised that the more I supported me (by asking for help and having regular quality breaks), the more external support started to flood into my life! This is the Law of Attraction playing out in full swing, essentially, how we treat ourselves, is what we will attract from the world around us. So, if we can start to support and love ourselves, then we will, in turn, start to see and invite in the wonderful support and love that the world has to offer us.

Accepting regular support into my life has:

▶︎ Enabled me to gain SPACE

▶︎ Made me feel BALANCED

▶︎ Reduced anxiety and stress because I am getting a well-needed BREAK

▶︎ Helped me to HEAL

▶︎ Enabled me to bring a much more motivated and HAPPY energy back into the home

▶︎ Completely shifted my families HAPPINESS

I now know that all of these things that support has bought into my life are absolutely imperative for my own wellbeing. If they were to be removed from my life, I would certainly revert back to those feelings of isolation, depression & negative emotions very quickly.

Motherhood is a wonderful experience, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility, which is made heaps lighter if it can be shared. We need to make the commitment to change some things so that we get to enjoy the journey along the way. Want to add a caption to this image? Click the Settings icon.

How can you reach out today and ask someone for support?

Darrielle x



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